The valley continues

God, you are so good.  You started preparing my heart for this journey weeks ago when I started studying Psalm 23.  You knew everything I would need.  You stayed by my side.  It was me that had to learn to trust you.

Voices - all the voices, all the "gossip", all the rumors.  I said things that were misinterpreted.  Frustration, confusion, and hurt will make you say things that can come out wrong.  I never said "I won't" but I did say I don't want to, I might not want to. This isn't what I applied to do.

Monday morning, I made Christy mad - I know it, but I was ready for them to tell Jenny and let us get on with the business of ending the Diabetes Program as we know it.  Monday afternoon - still nothing about what my next position will entail.  I see on FB that new director - Rita is in Mexico.  I text Sandy - she tells me I am starting on Monday.  I ask Christy.  Phone calls - tears - not understanding anything.  Another sleepless night.

Tuesday morning, run into Aimee - she makes me promise to talk to Jill in pastoral care.  I have already made the decision to email Jennifer for a meeting.  (Oh, and Christy offered to meet with me on Monday evening....I AM AN ADULT and can handle things much better without her)
Christy comes to my office furious - hostile - all because of my email about stupid meters.  With her, it is so difficult to know what to do if I had answered it without her OK - I would have been wrong...so I asked, but my "tone" was wrong.  I think I am glad to be leaving her.  Her ups and downs are beginning to be a little much.
Jill - thank you, Jesus, for this precious woman of God.  I do want to be soft clay so you can mold me into the woman you have planned for me to be.  I want to pray with hands up - to give my worries to you, but to also accept what you place into my hands.  More tears, but I left with a renewed spirit.
Visit with Wilma - very touched that she would be willing to find me PRN work - and did not want me to leave St. D.
Lunch with Sandy -
Meeting with Jennifer - I am open - honest - transparent.  I laid it all on the table (or desk if you will).  Explained how I felt - how raw I was about the entire thing.  My concern for the health and education of our patients.  It was a very good meeting.  Have my new job duties and a new desk.  No office for me anymore - just a partitioned off area. I don't have to be an office.

I am still in the valley and it will take some time for me to transition to my new role.  I have concerns but will take them one day at a time.  I know my Lord is with me.  I know He is the light, the guide, my salvation, He has hold of my right hand and will lead me to the green pastures and still waters.  He is my Good Shepherd.